HOW TWO THERAPISTS BUILT A MODERN FAMILY

Ashley and Rob Ayala are partners in every sense of the word. Licensed marriage and family therapists, co-parents to two young kids, and co-architects of a life rooted in healing and intention, they’ve built something far deeper than just a marriage. Together, they model what it looks like to show up—both for their clients and for each other. Through Ashley’s impactful platform, The Modern Parent, and Rob’s full-time clinical practice, they’re creating space for emotional safety, generational healing, and empowered parenting—starting right at home.

Q: How did you meet—and what was the first spark that drew you to each other?
A: We met at our clinical internship. Rob says it was our love of music and how direct I was. He saw me as strong and grounded, which he found really attractive. I’ll never forget the name game during orientation—he introduced himself as "Rockin Rob" and that stuck! We bonded over bands early on, and a few months later, we skipped a wedding and went to a Metallica concert instead. Music connected us then—and still does.

Q: Ashley, your journey with The Modern Parent is incredibly inspiring. How did Rob support that leap—and how have you supported his?
A: Rob has supported me in every way imaginable—from getting the kids out of the house so I can film content to trusting me during pivotal business decisions, like when I gave up steady income to go all in. That kind of faith gave me the confidence to bet on myself. And it paid off—not just financially, but in allowing Rob to reduce his caseload and spend more time with the family. We’ve built this rhythm of trust and balance together.

Q: Why did you name it 'The Modern Parent'? And what makes your approach different?
A: I wanted the name to reflect what it feels like to raise kids in today’s world—where advice is everywhere, but your instincts still matter. Early on, I focused on addressing children's behaviors with a blend of developmental knowledge, gut wisdom, and science-backed tools. Over time, it’s evolved into exploring intergenerational dynamics—how our upbringing shapes us, and how we can break cycles to do better by our own families.

Q: You both work in generational healing. How has your relationship grown stronger by addressing those themes together?
A: We talk a lot about our own childhoods—what worked, what didn’t, what triggers us. Being therapists helps, but it’s really about being on the same page and co-creating the kind of family we want. We’re building something new—not just reacting to what we grew up with. That shared intention has made us feel even more connected.

Q: What’s one of the most transformative moments you’ve shared, personally or professionally?
A: When I was pregnant with our daughter, we found out she had a birth defect at 17 weeks. I had to quit my job and focus on managing the stress—non-stress tests, NICU prep, a toddler at home. Rob stepped up financially and emotionally. She had two surgeries and spent 23 days in the NICU. Through it all, we didn’t crumble. We showed up for each other—no questions, no ego, just love and logistics. That experience bonded us deeply.

Q: Do you have a ritual that keeps you grounded during high-stress times?
A: We check in emotionally. We name where we’re at. Sometimes one of us is running at 30%, and the other fills in the gap. It’s rarely 50/50, but it’s always mutual support. That openness helps remove assumptions and keeps resentment low.

Q: How do you navigate high-stakes disagreements?
A: Lots of timeouts! We’ve learned that not everything needs to be solved right away. Pausing and coming back when we’re calm has changed everything. It gives us space to actually hear each other.

Q: What values guide both your relationship and your work?
A: Emotional safety. Transparency. Mutual respect. Teamwork. And growth. We're always checking in, adjusting, and creating safe spaces—for each other, our clients, and our kids.

Q: Ashley, how has becoming a parent shaped how you and Rob communicate?
A: It’s made us more intentional. Parenting pushes your buttons—and when you’re trying to model regulation and grace for your kids, you naturally start applying that to each other. We pause, we get curious instead of reactive, and we give each other room to be human.

Q: Rob, what’s something Ashley does that continues to inspire you?
A: Ashley holds space for everyone—even when she’s carrying a lot herself. She’s intuitive, compassionate, and constantly affirming. Watching her be that same person with our kids, her clients, and me… it’s humbling.

Q: Ashley, what’s something Rob does that continues to inspire you?
A: Rob is unshakable. He’s grounded, reliable, and calm—even in chaos. Whether he’s handling school drop-offs or supporting clients, he shows up fully. That consistency inspires me every day.

Q: Share a funny moment that brought you closer.
A: We flew to Newport Beach for Rob’s goddaughter’s wedding—me pregnant, toddler in tow—and accidentally boarded the wrong wedding boat. We didn’t realize until the bride walked down the aisle. We panicked, thinking we’d be stuck. Luckily, a little jetty boat rescued us and got us to the right reception. It was chaos, but we laughed so hard. Total team effort.

Q: What advice would you give to couples balancing marriage, parenting, and meaningful work?
A: Cheer each other on from the sidelines. You don’t have to do the same thing to be on the same team. Let each other lead, shine, and rest. Communicate constantly. And have fun—it protects the relationship.

Q: What’s your shared vision for the future of your platform and partnership?
A: We want to normalize emotional awareness in families—and that starts with couples doing their own work. Strong families come from strong, intentional partnerships. We’re here to help people rewrite the script and raise the next generation with more peace and presence.

Q: Finish this sentence: Why Don’t We ___________?
A: Why Don’t We Start With Ourselves? Because healing is contagious—and it begins at home.