Let’s be honest—when it comes to sex, we’ve all heard some questionable advice. From movies that make it seem like orgasms just happen instantly to outdated beliefs about what a “healthy” sex life looks like, there are plenty of myths that can mess with your expectations.

It’s time to clear things up. Here are some of the biggest sex myths out there—and the truth that will actually help you have better, more fulfilling intimacy.

Myth #1: “Good Sex Is Always Spontaneous”

The Reality: The idea that great sex just happens is one of the biggest misconceptions out there. Sure, when you’re in the early stages of a relationship, you might be tearing each other’s clothes off at random moments. But over time? Life gets busy, stress kicks in, and waiting for the “perfect moment” might mean waiting forever.

The Fix: Planned sex can be just as exciting—if not more—because it builds anticipation. Whether it’s scheduling a date night with the intention of getting intimate or sending flirty texts throughout the day to get things going, a little effort goes a long way.

Myth #2: “Orgasms Should Happen Every Time”

The Reality: While orgasms are amazing, they’re not the only measure of good sex. The belief that every intimate encounter has to end with fireworks can put unnecessary pressure on both partners, leading to anxiety instead of enjoyment.

The Fix: Shift the focus from “finishing” to pleasure. Sometimes, intimacy is about connection, exploration, and feeling good in the moment. Plus, when you remove the pressure to orgasm, you may actually find it happens more naturally.

Myth #3: “Men Always Want More Sex Than Women”

The Reality: This outdated stereotype has been debunked over and over. Libido isn’t just about gender—it’s influenced by hormones, stress, emotional connection, and individual personality. Plenty of women have higher sex drives than their male partners, and plenty of men experience fluctuations in desire.

 The Fix: Instead of assuming who should want sex more, have open conversations about your needs and desires. If there’s a difference in sex drives, find a balance that works for both of you.

Myth #4: “You Should Just ‘Know’ What Your Partner Likes”

The Reality: No one is born a mind-reader, and yet, many people expect their partners to just know what they like in bed. This myth leads to frustration when needs aren’t met and partners feel like they’re “doing something wrong.”

The Fix: Communication is everything. Talk about what feels good, what turns you on, and what you’d love to explore. Need a fun way to start the convo? Try a sexy “Would You Rather” game or make a pleasure list together.

Myth #5: “Lube Is Only for People Who Have a Problem”

The Reality: Let’s set the record straight—lube is not just for people who struggle with dryness. In fact, using lube can make any sexual experience more pleasurable by reducing friction and increasing sensitivity.

The Fix: Treat lube like an enhancement, not a backup plan. Whether you’re having penetrative sex, enjoying foreplay, or trying something new, a little extra slickness can make a big difference.

Myth #6: “Bigger Is Always Better”

The Reality: Despite what pop culture says, size does not determine sexual satisfaction. In fact, studies show that pleasure is more about technique, emotional connection, and knowing how to please your partner than any specific physical attribute.

The Fix: Focus on what really matters—communication, exploration, and mutual pleasure. Instead of fixating on size, explore different positions, techniques, and ways to maximize sensation.

Myth #7: “Couples Who Have More Sex Are Happier”

The Reality: Research has found that while sex is important, more sex doesn’t automatically mean a better relationship. In fact, studies suggest that couples who have sex once a week are just as happy as those who have it more often.

The Fix: Instead of chasing a number, focus on quality over quantity. A fulfilling sex life is about connection, emotional intimacy, and ensuring both partners feel satisfied—not about meeting some imaginary standard.

Final Thoughts: Ditch the Myths, Enjoy the Pleasure

Believing in these sex myths can create unnecessary pressure and unrealistic expectations, making intimacy more stressful than enjoyable. The truth? Good sex is about what works for you and your partner, not what society says it should look like.

So, let go of outdated ideas, embrace open communication, and focus on what truly feels good. Your sex life should be about pleasure, connection, and fun—no myths attached.